Padfoot and Prongs: Traumatized for Life
by slasher1322
Summary: One-shot Sirius and James go for a little night time wandering and end up opening the entrance to the headmasters office. While there, they see and hear something that they never expected of their headmaster, and they will never, EVER forget it. One shot


LONG after everyone else had left the Gryffindor common room for bed; four fifth year students were gathered around the fire. Two of them were talking of the O.W.L. examinations that would be occurring later that year. "Peter, I _know _that if you just _apply_ yourself to studying you will do fine, and I promise you that I will make absolutely sure that you pass these exams." The other two, who seemed rather bored by this discussion, had only been half listening and, after assuring their friend that they would do the same, began their own conversation. "Sirius do you realizethat we have already been back at Hogwarts for a week and we haven't even had so much as a _threat_ of a detention? I'm beginning to feel rather ashamed of us," said James with a jokingly sad look at his friend. "Well than, my dear James we _must_ do something to fix that," replied Sirius. Remus glanced at them and plowed on in his conversation with Peter in a slightly louder voice and looked as though he was silently pleading that nothing would happen. James and Sirius though, noticed nothing, or at least pretended they didn't, and walked right out the portrait hole before they could be stopped.

OoOoOoOoO

Three hours later, their night time wanderings had still yielded no results. Not a single opportunity had appeared for them to wreak havoc upon the school. They found themselves walking along, yet another, deserted corridor and were engaged in one of the most random conversations for this time of night. "I do rather prefer Bertie Bots Every Flavor beans, but that's mostly just because it so amusing to see the look on someone's face when you give them a dirt flavored one or something," said Sirius in a casual tone. "Yes," replied James, "but its rather less funny when your one the receiving end of the joke," he added chuckling. "You know, there was this muggle sweet I heard Lily talking about the other day and the way she said it, it seemed she rather enjoyed them, Lollipops, I think they were called…" Except precisely when James said the word lollipops they heard an odd sound. When they turned they saw a gargoyle jumping out of place to reveal a large spiral staircase behind it. They both stared open mouthed for a few moments at the wall and than in a rather excited voice, for the most wonderful idea had come to him, "Sirius?" "Yes James," he replied. "I think we have just discovered the password to Dumbledore's office." They both turned to look at each other with identical grins on their faces, took off at a run to put, what could possibly be one of their best pranks during their Hogwarts time, into action.

OoOoOoOoO

Now don't get them wrong, Sirius and James had a great amount of respect for their Headmaster, but this had been something they _never_ expected. Sure their Headmaster had been acting odd recently but _this_? Remus had gone to bed last night before James and Sirius returned, but woke early the next morning to realize that they had not come up to the dormitory. As a result of this he went down to the common room in hopes of finding them there. Upon entering the common room an odd sight appeared to him. James and Sirius were sitting on the couch, with traumatized looks upon their faces. He thought to his self that something must have gone wrong last night. He approached his friends and tapped them both on the shoulder. They suddenly clutched each other and let out a high-pitched girly scream. Acting on instinct he slapped them across the face. "O…oh Remus

i-its just y-you…" said James stuttering slightly and still in apparent shock. "What happened to you two?" he asked. The pair glanced at each other and, with difficulty, began to recount the happening of last night. "Well…" began Sirius. They had entered Dumbledore's office they saw a door that they had not noticed before and they just had to look inside so Sirius took out his knife again, and ran it along the edge of the door. They heard the telltale click of the lock and opened the door just enough that they could both peer inside, not knowing that the sight to meet their eyes would be one they would never forget. The room they saw was filled with brightly colored sweet smelling candles and was painted in odd bright colors. The bed in the center had a flowery bed spread, but the room was not the part that scared them the most but the people inside it. The two people were wearing night dresses and both had curlers in their hair and appeared to be giving each other pedicures. "Thank you so much Minerva, I really need this," said Dumbledore, "I just can't stop thinking about Gerllert, but now thanks to you I have realized that I don't need a man in my life to make me happy, of course, James Potter does look rather good in that Quittage uniform," he added winking. A completely unMcgonnagleish laugh, no more like giggle, came out of their teacher. "Oh Albus," she said, "he is much to young for you." "…and after that we ran for and we have been sitting here since," finished James. At this Remus burst out laughing earning him two glares from his friends.

**Many Years in the Future: Grimulad Place Shortly after Order f the Phoenix Meeting**

"Oh and Harry," said Dumbledore, "When you return to Hogwarts I would like you to visit my office right away." Suddenly a yell came from the other end of the table "AHHHHHHH! NO HARRY! DON'T DO IT! NOOOOOOOO! TRAUMATIZED FOR LIFE!" And with that Sirius ran screaming from the room and Remus fell out of his chair laughing.


End file.
